Extra

Making conversation in the real world is hard. Eye contact is awkward, and once you've exhausted the topic of the weather and how great the potato salad is you're left staring passed your new acquaintance's shoulder. Fake laughing slightly. Looking for your friend to rescue you.

I don't understand the disconnect, but I fall into the trap more times than I'd like to admit. Somehow something's been lost in translation. Distance and differences have been communicated, when all we want is to be known and understood.

One of my best friends, Julie, calls this phenomena the funk blanket. When you can feel the awkward tension wrap around you and your thoughts start to race. Her solution?

Drastic measures.

Awkward pool party? She jumps in with all of her clothes on. Shaky introduction? She swoops in with a smile and the reassurance of common ground. Messy interactions? She head bangs and sings into her fake microphone until I stop taking myself so seriously. She has taught me the art of overcoming social shame, and I love her for it.

Now I remind myself before new interactions that I have nothing to prove. I am enough, and so are you. I try to be present, ask real questions, and find specific things about the individual in front of me that I genuinely enjoy. As it turns out, it's not that hard to do.

This may make me seem a little too bubbly. A little.... extra? But I'll be "extra" if that's what it takes. Extra kind, extra caring, extra invested. Extra aware of others and their need to be known like me. No one is an island. It's a new day, and there are bridges to be built.

So let's all be like Julie. Let's remember to be a little extra today.